There is more to responsibility than meets the eye
I used to slam my maths examination papers on the teacher’s desk after having answered the bare minimum of questions so I could not be failed, and leave the classroom as early as I could; huffing and puffing no doubt and most likely slamming the door on the way out. I hated maths (or so I thought at the time) and wanted everybody to know, and especially the teacher.
When coming home, my mother used to ask me without fail and every single school day, “How was school?” It was like waving a red flag at a bull, as far as I was concerned. Despite the repetitiveness and helplessness of her attempt to make contact, it would invariably enrage me and bring me to boiling point. In my juvenile superiority I just could not imagine a dumber and more useless question.
Many years later and when living with my then husband, I used to occasionally fly into a rage, a furious storm of frustration. On one occasion I smashed a teapot forcefully into the wooden floorboards in the kitchen.
Interestingly, and after all those and many more occurrences, this one hurt. Of course, I swept up the shards; I always cleaned up, sometimes chuckling at the futility of the delivered performance. I remember looking at the floor in the kitchen the next day and I saw that the timber had been marked; some bits of hardwood had splintered, there was a groove and the damage was undeniably visible. But that was not what hurt. What hurt was that I could still feel the force I had delivered the thrust with; it was indelible and remained in the kitchen for a few days to come.
What does it have to do with responsibility?
Everything – I was always responsible, overly responsible when it came to worldly things. I went to school, wagged only when it was safe; I started working early, after school was out; I cooked and cleaned and kept the house. I was so responsible.
But when I smashed that teapot into the ground, I had been attending The Way of The Livingness events and presentations for a few months and could no longer deny that there is a grander and totally burden-free and weightless kind of responsibility that far exceeded my earlier attempts and understanding.
Energetic Responsibility means that I am responsible for the quality of my thoughts, intentions, actions and deeds. It is not just the doing but the way I do what I do. I am part of something much grander and unbelievably vaster than this earth and my humanness and thus, my responsibility spans this planet and the universe.
That smashed teapot left an energetic imprint for all to feel, whether they were aware of it or not. I had loaded space with ballast, like leaving a stinking heap of dung that so needed to be shifted and cleared.
My responsibility is grand, as grand as the universe and I am slowly and evermore growing into it – and it is refreshing and not at all an onerous task. It is humbling and liberating, it is light footed and joyful, it is quiet and at times over the moon, in awe of what is possible, in awe of space and the All.
