It seems so absurd to even ask “what is love” for at essence we ALL are love.
In love we are all one, there is no separation, no war, no harm, no emotions, no doing.
Love is something we all want and yet love is something we all are.
So how come we so desperately want what we already are and have to ask what it is?
Love has to be one of the most bastardised and corrupted words on the planet. This divine healing essence of who we are is used to describe all that we are not and all that harms. Thus, a big number is done on us from birth to obscure and corrupt what is true love and we in turn take that on and continue this travesty with ourselves, our children and each other.
As a child I can remember how often I saw my parents, family and others behaving in ways that were simply not true. For example, I could feel my mother was very upset and I would say are you ok and she would say everything was fine – but clearly it was not.
I would feel one thing and everyone else would say something else. Looking back now I can see that I was clocking the lies which brings me to Truth, another quality of the Soul.
Love, Truth, Joy, Harmony and Stillness are five attributes of the Soul and they are all there together. Energetically if Love is not present then whatever you say is not True even if it is right. Two people can say the same words and one will be True and one will not be true which brings everything back to energy for it is about energy and a vibration and not about words.
So, coming back to my childhood it occurs to me that I would have been feeling how it was all not true and therefore knowing it was not love.
Because we are fed from every conceivable angle lies about what love is and who we are, and because at essence we all know what love is, we are taught to disconnect from the love and knowing we all carry within and in that fragmented and lost space can easily be manipulated.
Growing up I started to mistake attention for love and that led to many unpleasant and harmful consequences that never satisfied and only exacerbated my growing discontent.
Around 1984 when I would have been about 27, I met a man who I became quite addicted too thinking that was love. We were living together, but it was not a healthy relationship, and he was also seeing another woman on the side and drinking too much. I knew he was very unsettled in himself and one day I found myself thinking: “I would like him to feel better, but if that meant him being with someone else then I would prefer he felt bad.” I was completely shocked to the bone by that thought because I had thought I really loved that man, but it clearly exposed to me in the moment that what I felt for him was not love because if it was love I would want the best for him and if that was another woman so be it. Therefore, it was a life changing experience of what is not love.
Whilst I was shocked and devastated, I also felt liberated and freed from some sort of spell. So long as I thought I loved him I stayed with him but when I realised that whatever I felt was not true love or loving I left. I left that man, the city I was in and the whole life I had been living and went into a deep inward space of starting to see more and more clearly everywhere what is not love.
Meeting Serge Benhayon in 2004 was the first register in my body of what true love is. A meeting on a level my physical body had not previously encountered. It was a vibrational experience not related to words or touch – an energetic transmission that reawakened a known throughout my body. I was not consciously aware at the time what had happened, but it started a healing process in me.
As I went through reconnecting to what love truly is I could see more and more clearly what it was not and the absurdity of that.
It also occurred to me that we all know what love is, because we all know what love is not but for many reasons skip over that bit.
For example, how can we kill in the name of love – that just does not make sense? We all know that. How can we consume (eat and drink) substances that harm our body and say we love them? Some people say “I love my coffee” but does your body really love it? We say God is love and then ascribe judgement to Him when love does not judge.
How can we enjoy listening to a song about love when the singer famously lives a dysfunctional and harmful life, what kind of vibration are we receiving? Have you ever experienced the absurdity of someone loudly screaming at you “I am not angry” – it can so often feel like that when people use the love word – the vibration or energy simply does not match the words.
And then we have the other side we have the situation where we are almost embarrassed to use the word love. We can be apologetic for expressing love or signing our letters with love. Many are very comfortable using swear words but would baulk at using the L word.
The more I opened my eyes to what is not love, the more I saw the big number that has been done on us and how once you have seen the obvious lies you get to see the far bigger and more harmful lies.
I remember once in a presentation Serge Benhayon sharing that you cannot love one person more than another and at another presentation how you cannot send love.
From this I understood that we cannot send love as it is not ours to send – so if we think we are sending love what are we actually sending! Also how can you love one person more than another when in essence we are all one from the same source of love? Love is an energy ~ it is beholding. It is not something we own or can direct.
Reconnecting to the Livingness of Love has enrichened my life in ways that I never previously even imagined was possible. Love works, simply is and yet never stops expanding. It has also led me to many other riches beyond words including what is Truth, energetically so, what is true Purpose (as opposed to the drive to achieve) and the Joy of being an eternal student of life.
