What limits us in relationships? Why are our relationships the source of so much angst? What would it be like to have a natural ease in relating – to simply meet people as we are, minus learned relating strategies or defences – be they conscious or unconscious?
Closer to home, what would it take for me to be simply me when I meet you and the same for you? In essence, two (human) beings just being together, relishing their communion and connection – and loving their diversity.
Because we are designed to connect.
Some people might challenge this last statement but the evidence is out there; humans do so much better in community, lives are much richer lived in connection with others.
Back to me, I can say that my discovery is that to be me when I meet you, I need to be not defined or held captive by:
- Who I think I am
- Any and all past hurts I may have felt
- Any need to protect myself (by tightening or closing up/down)
- Any static (as in not flowing) energies at all.
These latter energies could manifest as the way I move, patterns of thinking, predilections, tension in my body, a bank of judgements that I call upon and more.
Referencing energy is not a capitulation to the intangible because we all feel energies. And we are all aware of when something feels flowing or not. By flowing I mean moving/being in harmony.
So here I am about to meet you for the first time. Am I open? Or more to the point, am I actually present? Do I form a ‘snap assessment’ of you – another way of saying this is, when I energetically read or sense you, do I do anything with it, or do I just be with you? Here you are, here I am – let’s explore the spaciousness of meeting – free of any self-reference by me with me, you with you.
This can be just as fresh when you read this as when I meet you. In everything we do or create, can we imbue it with our natural love of us? All of us?
The stressed person at the café is being rude to the cashier because his coffee took too long. The air is not fragrant with their tension – the café staff are tightening up. Do I disapprove or sympathize, do I absorb or get affected by the energy being identified with and get tense, or do I meet everyone in the café in equality by just being me and staying with the love I mentioned, the love that we know is innate in us all?
Not emotional love, not righteous love, not any-adjective-here love but the love that sustains us like we simply know it does – if we allow the space to let it arise or be felt.
And if I do stay connected, what happens? Connection begets connection – everyone has experienced the return to love that occurs for all of us when we hold true in the face of the myriad of forces (energies) that seek to counter connected love. This is true relationship – to stay with that connection and by doing so support all to also stay or indeed begin to return.