I was born into a family that provided well for me. We lived very comfortably and I was well cared for, but despite this I always had the sense I did not quite ‘fit’ and was often referred to as the ‘black sheep’ of the family. Through my teenage years I would have been a nightmare to live with as I was in constant tension and seeking an out, but from what I was not entirely sure. Despite this self-inflicted inner turmoil that seemed to follow me around for most of my life, I have always had an inherently harmonising quality and a natural ease with bringing people together. This meant that I was often the one that the others would come to when adversity struck or tension arose between family members. I happily adopted the role of mediator, as I could not stand the disharmony that would arise between us. However, my method was flawed and I would take on (absorb) the tensions of my siblings and parents and later friends, colleagues and partners etc., so that they would not have to wear it. This led to my carrying a fair bit of energetic poison in my body and as a result, in my 30s, I got very sick for almost a decade until the Ageless Wisdom entered my life and with the support of the Esoteric teachings and modalities, I was able to begin the healing process.
Part of this process was being willing to honestly look at my behaviours and discern whether these were truly loving and supportive of both myself and others, or not. I began to notice familiar traits between my family and I, some good and some not so good. The good ones I began to appreciate and the not so good ones I decided to let go of. The ‘letting go’ was not an easy process for me and I certainly could not have done it and retained my sanity without the support of the Ageless Wisdom. This was in part due to the fact that there was a whole host of deeply ingrained and possibly centuries old behaviours that spanned many lives that were being drawn to the surface and did not look so pretty once exposed. And not only that, I was met with an inner defiance that did not want to let go of these behaviours because they had afforded me a great deal of protection in the past. The whole extraction process was a bit like patiently coaxing a prized bone away from a hungry dog and the key was to realise that I was both the dog and the one trying to remove the bone! The image of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, with his ‘precious ring’ is also an apt description of what I was up against within myself. I found that renouncing the unloving but achingly familiar behaviours that I had built a dependency on could only be done when I stopped blaming others for the pain that I felt and began to take responsibility for what I had put in place over many, many lives, as well as appreciating the fact that I had family members around me that had also taken on similar traits and were able to unconsciously highlight (reflect) what I needed to address (possibly unbeknownst to them). It was a bit like living in a house of mirrors – there is simply nowhere to hide if you keep your eyes and your heart open.
Now, as a mother of two young daughters and with a husband by my side, I have noticed the same mirroring effect between us all and I have a deeper appreciation of how we have been constellated together. It has become greatly apparent that what I react to most in those I live with is often something that is still not reconciled within me. There is just no getting away from the evolution on offer here! However, I am finding that the more I am willing to go there and deal with whatever it is I am carrying, the lighter the load becomes and thus the more Love, Joy, Harmony, Truth, Stillness and ultimately S_P_A_C_E I can feel within my body because I am shedding the compression of protection I have cloaked myself in for so long. It is a bit like removing a heavy cloak of lead and discovering the breathtaking lightness of the gold beneath it – an alchemical process well worth the effort (once you get past Gollum!)
This has allowed me to open up to a wider group of people, particularly those who have supported me in my evolution. Serge Benhayon and his family have been instrumental to me during this process, not only for the incredible and unconditional love, support and tireless dedication each of them have offered to my family and I, but also by unashamedly living the true model of family and showing by virtue of their lived way that it is no big deal to live the Soul’s light on earth, despite this not being the currently accepted norm. This family are remarkably unremarkable in the sense that they are not special, they are simply leading the way with a model that can be adopted by any of us at any time; a model that completely disassembles the currently accepted model of family life fraught with tensions, bickering, abuse, fighting, jealously and ultimately separation between each other, and reinstates the notion of true Brotherhood which is simply working together to get the job done – the job here being supporting each other, and all others, to return to Soul.
In this way, if we simply deal with ‘our stuff’ and drop all the expectations and investments we often impose on those we love and thereby stop polluting the space we dwell within, we each have the ability to set a standard of decency and respect in our homes that we as family members (blood related or not) support each other to not drop below, so that it becomes a foundation for a way of living that does not allow any abuse whatsoever to enter the equation. From here we can then allow greater access to the universal love and wisdom so abundantly on offer to us all so that we can live with greater energetic awareness, energetic integrity and energetic responsibility, thus totally transforming the model of family so that the world and everyone in it is enriched and not reduced by it.
I have learnt that we are custodians of the space that we occupy and with this comes a responsibility for this space and what is lived within it, so if we are truly serious about changing the world we don’t need to go ‘out there’ in search of a solution that will end the injustice, corruption and abuse we can all feel, we simply need look no further than the quality of what is being lived in the home. What was once the comfortable nest we sought shelter in can become a mighty pyramid that, through the rhythmic consistency of our daily movements and communion with each other, has the ability to uplift and transform the consciousness of our entire global community if we simply allow the grace of the Soul’s love and wisdom to guide us back to our true home – a place where no walls exist as a boundary between Us All because in truth there are no walls, there is only God’s universal and undying love and the glory that comes when we embody this and share it with each other.
There is much work to be done and there is great truth in the old adage ‘many hands make light work’, so what are we all waiting for?