Healing – when I was in my early teens and started to learn more about different kinds of therapies such as hands-on-healing and massage – meant to me a person on a treatment table receiving direct healing from a practitioner. I could see the benefits of healing and have watched many, many people in my community transform their life through letting go of past hurts, issues and grief, assisted by hands-on esoteric healing therapies, but what I have observed more and more is how healing can equally and additionally occur in many other ways, not limited to the environment of a clinic or session room.
Healing for every person can mean something very different, and correspondingly very beautiful. There are many areas where I have been blown away by the understated power of this modality which is so natural to relationships and can occur through any exchange.
For me, to heal is to let go of what is not true to the essence of who we are.
Some might say that emotions such as frustration, sadness, resentment, bitterness or lack of self-worth are part of ‘who we are as human beings’, but when I consider the sweetness and natural clairsentience of a young child, it is a clear contrast to the emotional ‘baggage’ we accumulate through our experiences and hurts in life. The reason for using the word ‘baggage’ is because as a term it describes the physical effects and weight these emotions can have on the body, and hence emphasises the importance of healing in the process of leaving behind the heaviness of the ‘what is not’ and hence creating space for the ‘what is’.
The first crucial step in healing is nominating these emotions and giving permission to the realisation that they do not make up who we are; that we are not in truth an ‘angry person’, a ‘timid person’ or even a ‘tolerant person’, in contrast to how these labels may have shaped and cemented our identity for many years.
So how does this first step of healing occur? It can occur very simply through conversation, honesty and transparency: meeting someone and seeing past the ‘identity’ they have been given by the world, loving them unconditionally for what’s inside and seeing that what makes up one’s essence is the same in each and every one of us. It is very beautiful to watch someone melt and respond to this kind of address, and I have felt it many times myself.
Throughout my years at school I used to be heavily identified with the grades that I achieved in exams and was nicknamed ‘teacher’s pet’ from the age of 7 or 8 years. Although this sounds harmless, it was a label which I felt was branded on my forehead, and the way people treated me, be it teachers or fellow students, was shaped on this image. During these years there were certain people in my life who spoke to me completely differently, never treating me as the ‘good student’ but always loving me for me. I had permission to let go of the ‘baggage’ and was supported to connect to the sensitive, beautiful and powerful woman within. I was never talked to as a child by my family, but an equal, and this was such a gigantic contrast to what I experienced at school that I developed a ‘radar’ to what was true love, and what was society instructing me to fit the mould.
Seeing the ‘whole’ and not compartmentalising a person into their roles is an enormous part of healing and can start to effortlessly release the emotional tendrils which keep us weighted in life. This is an important responsibility we all have in our interactions, and the incredible thing is we do not need a clinic room to do this – it can easily be part of everyday conversation.
The processes of nominating and detachment can in fact be fun, explorative and truly freeing, and in our relationships we can simultaneously support someone to re-establish the expression of who they truly are.
When I was a young teenager and started to see that I was so much more than the straight-A student, I built foundations in my life which I adored and all formed part of my expression in the world of who I was – I worked from a young age, loved to draw and do photography, cook and take an active part in my community through volunteering. All of this confirmed the strength I felt inside, and every time I went to work it was a healing experience for me which allowed me to be steadier at school.
None of this takes away from the power of healing as a modality; a much needed and important practice which can assist the body to let go and deepen into its godliness. However, healing is equally a tool of life and inseparable part of relationships; anyone can in fact offer healing to another, and we can initiate our own healing through our expression and livingness.
Never play down a dinner conversation, car journey or interaction at work – all of these moments can be an opportunity to offer healing and resurrect the flame inside.